The After Holiday Blues

I've got 'em. Everything always feels so flat after the holidays. All that planning, decorating, baking, shopping, wrapping, sending, ANTICIPATING, and then it's over. And it's cold and bleak and spring is a long way off. I feel like this every year but this year more so.

This year our holidays were overshadowed by the unexpected hospitalization and then death of my dear aunt. As a family we're still reeling from the shock and sorrow. But we soldiered on through the holidays for the kids. Now that they're over there's nothing else to occupy my mind. I am just very, very sad. It comes and goes in waves and will continue to do so for some time I am sure.

Couple that with the bitterly cold and depressing weather, the lack of schedule for the past 3 weeks AND the fact that I am back on Weight Watchers with a vengeance (which means no chocolate..) and I may need medication soon.

I am a creature of habit. While I enjoy the holidays just like everyone else, I get a little squirelly when we get out of our routine. Heck, I don't even really like the weekends for that reason. Sitting around in a house after the holidays (with the decorations still up- ugh) and before school starts again makes me feel really unsettled. We're in this odd kind of holding pattern that is making me feel really melancholy and out of sorts- like I don't fit in my own skin.

I feel like I just need to fast forward through this month and get on with 2009. I'd like to snap my fingers and have all the decorations put away, the tree taken down, the new toys organized, the thank you cards written and most importantly have everyone back in their usual routines. Because that is when I operate best.